Divorce Attorney Cape Town

Seven Big Post-Divorce Money Mistakes Women Make


The Seven Big Post-Divorce Money Mistakes Women Make

Breaking up is not only hard to do, it can be brutal on your finances.

Legal fees and creating and running two households from one are just the initial costs of separation process. And while some expenditure is necessary, others can be emotionally charged and careless and can lead to serious debt.

Here are seven common ways divorced couples can get into big financial trouble after a split:

1.            Ignorance

While a divorce Settlement Agreement may specify who is to pay what account, it carries little weight with creditors.

The most frequent mistake of all after divorce is assuming that because the ex spouse has been the one ordered to pay back the debt in the divorce, they are off the hook for it.  Most people do not realise that courts do not have the authority to make creditors abide by a judge’s orders in divorce. A spouse may have recourse to re-claim a debt from the other spouse who assumed the debt, but it does not nullify liability towards the creditor where the debt was a joint debt of the parties.

2.         Delusion

If you relied on the other person’s income during the marriage, your cash flow may take a serious dip. As it constricts, so must your budget. Unfortunately, many who are accustomed to abundance deny reality and continue to shop till they drop. The bills, however, wind up on the cards.

The most important thing most parents want is for their child’s lifestyle to continue, be conscious of your current circumstances and spend accordingly.

3.         Neglect

Own a home together? Make sure that your share in the property is transferred, especially if you are married in community of property. There are many cases where one party was awarded the other spouse’s share in the home, but neglected to transfer it. If your ex lands in financial trouble after divorce, creditors may still attach his/her share in the property, so make sure it is transferred.

4.         Revenge.

Wanting to ruin your ex by charging up the cards is a frequent response to betrayal; it is what one call ‘the saboteur spouse’. Squelch this desire, though. While big balances may result in the hoped-for fury, you too could be held responsible for the balance.

5.         Beauty

If you’ve been dumped for a younger model and want to make yourself feel better by looking better with the hope of attracting a new mate, you may be considering splurging on a beautification procedure.

Be careful, though it usually translates into little more than added liabilities. Some people spend thousands on plastic surgery after discovering the husband’s affair. It may be money that one could not afford to spend, it was more important to paying off credit cards. Worse, those nips and tucks normally has no positive impact on the soon-to-be ex. Delay any major decisions — financial and cosmetic — for at least six months to a year after a divorce is finalized.

6.         Competition

What happens when one parent can afford more and better things for the children post-separation? The less wealthy partner sometimes attempts to keep up with or even outdo the other.

Oftentimes, there is a pre-divorce battle for the children’s love and affection by purchasing gifts for kids or taking them to concerts or cruises in order to gain their affection over the other spouse. Question your motivation for purchasing certain items for the kids. If it’s to prove your love, stash the cards.

7.         New love

Getting sucked into a fresh romance when a marriage falls apart can be seductive. It can also be pricey. One of the most common post-divorce credit issues are loans people make for new partners. In some cases, it may be thousands to fix a broken car, but in others, it is tens of thousands to help a new lover with a business, or hundreds of thousands to put towards an ‘investment’ that was really a scam. Avoid lending or giving money to anyone for at least a year after divorce.

Almost everyone has regrets about a broken relationship. Don’t make needless, emotion-based liabilities one of them. Divorce your mate, not common sense.

About the author:

Bertus Preller is a Divorce and Family Law Attorney based in Cape Town and has more than 20 years experience in most sectors of the law and 13 years as a practicing attorney. He specializes in Family law and Divorce Law at Abrahams and Gross Attorneys Inc. and litigates in divorce matters across the country. He is also the Family Law expert on Health24.com and on the expert panel of Law24.com and is frequently quoted on Family Law issues in newspapers such as the Sunday Times and Business Times. His clients include celebrities, actors and actresses, sportsmen and sportswomen, television presenters and various high net worth individuals.  His areas of expertise are Divorce Law, Family Law, International Divorce Law, Divorce Mediation, Parenting Plans, Parental Responsibilities and Rights, Custody (care and contact) of children, same sex marriages, unmarried fathers rights, domestic violence matters, digital rights, media law and criminal law.

Bertus other passion is technology and he also co-pioneered the development of technology in which the first book in the world was delivered to a mobile phone utilizing sms and java technology and also advised a number of South African book publishers on the Google Book settlement class action and negotiated contracts with the likes of Google and Amazon.com.

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Adultery, infidelity on Facebook and Mxit


Adultery, infidelity on Facebook and Mxit

Social networks have made it easier for the infidelity that has grown exponentially with the advent of the internet, and whilst many would argue that virtual adultery can never be as bad as the real thing, even an online affair can be of great distress to the “victim.” The recent popularity of social networking websites like Facebook and Mxit have brought with them the possibility to make complete new friends with common interests, as well as to reconnect with those lost friends from school or your more recent past. Matrimonial investigations where once confined to the real world and the surveillance of partners were often a case of physical tracking of vehicles etc. However, with the advent of modern technology an effective matrimonial investigation needs to be able to work on a virtual as well as a physical level.

More and more frequently, otherwise sound marriages, are suffering from the use of online social networking sites like Facebook and Mxit. There are no figures or percentages yet to suggest that the rate of infidelity has risen with the growth of social networking sites.

But do social networking sites encourage flirtatious behaviour, and are they really to blame for a rise in adultery?

As anyone who has joined Facebook, will know that the first couple of weeks is often a race to add as many ‘friends’ as possible. It is also all too easy, and often irresistibly tempting, to look up old boyfriends or girlfriends or maybe just that guy from university or college you had that crush on, but never did anything about at the time, almost reliving that lost moment in time. Of course, it is only human to wonder what happened to people you were close to in the past.

The danger starts when that late night uninhibited surfing session, fuelled by that second glass of sauvignon blanc or cabernet, begets a ‘poke’ or a flirtatious message sent to an ex-lover or missed opportunity. One thing leads to another and you are soon exchanging emails reminiscing about the past; and the next thing you know you’re arranging to meet to catch up on old times and that is when the trouble starts.

It really doesn’t only apply to people known to you. The remote nature of the internet provides some people with a veil of anonymity which can lead them to act in a complete different way that they wouldn’t in a real life situation. People who are generally shy can often act much more confidently in a virtual situation, leading them to be much more flirtatious and socially assertive than they otherwise would. Asking someone out over the internet feels less risky than it does face to face, as it is only your avatar that is facing possible rejection.

Of course, social networking sites don’t make anyone cheat on their partner. They do make it easy to get in contact with people, and therefore provide the opportunity to cheat to someone who is that way inclined. They also provide a much greater chance of getting caught, as they provide an electronic trail of evidence to a suspicious partner who knows where to look. So, the problem is not so much the social networks, but human nature.

As a divorce attorney I have seen a huge increase in the recent years in people producing print outs of emails, instant messages, Facebook wall screenshots and sms messages to back up claims of their partner’s infidelity.

So how many exes does your current partner have on their list of Facebook friends? And for that matter how many do you have on yours? It is worth bearing in mind next time you receive a friend request and the option to ‘Confirm or Ignore?’ Is it someone you would be happy for your partner to know about? That is the question.

Finally, spare a thought for famous Emma Brady, reportedly the world’s first Facebook divorcee. She only found out that her husband wanted a divorce when friends started phoning her to console her on being dumped.

Some interesting facts appeared on the internet, altough the veracity thereof is unknown the stats are worth mentioning:

  • Only 46% of men believe that online affairs are adultery. (DivorceMag)
  • Up to 37% of men and 22% of women admit to having affairs. Researchers think the vast majority of the millions of people who visit chat rooms, have multiple “special friends”. (Dr. Bob Lanier, askbob.com)
  • One-third of divorce litigation is caused by online affairs. (The Fortino Group)
  • Approximately 70% of time on-line is spent in chartrooms or sending e-mail; of these interactions, the vast majority are romantic in nature. (Dr. Michael Adamse, PhD., co-author of “Affairs of the Net: The Cybershrinks’ Guide to Online Relationships”)

Written by: Bertus Preller

Family Law and Divorce Law Attorney

Abrahams and Gross Inc. Cape Town

bertus@divorceattorney.co.za

http://www.divorceattorney.co.za

Interview with one of Cape Town’s Best Divorce Attorneys Bertus Preller


Interview with one of Cape Town’s Top Divorce Attorneys Bertus Preller at Abrahams and Gross Inc.

Why do people and celebrities from all over South Africa come to you for divorce and family law matters?

Well, firstly, I guess it is because I care a great deal, I work hard and I am involved personally in my client’s cases. I am only as good as the team behind me and our office staff and junior attorneys really assist in alleviating a lot of the pressure associated with my work

What is a typical day look like for you?

I commence work at 5am in the mornings doing my normal correspondence until 7am, drop my daughter at school at 8 am and start seeing clients from 9am till 3pm by the hour, three days a week other days I will be in Court. Evening times I use to read and blog on Family Law issues, study case law and spend time with my family.

You are also the founder of eDivorce a do it yourself divorce platform in South Africa, can you tell us more about this?

eDivorce is a divorce document generating platform and generates all the documents that you will need to conclude an uncontested divorce in South Africa with a click of a button.

So how does the eDivorce process work?

A user will browse a web page, http://www.edivorce.co.za fill in a questionnaire and the technology platform will then generate all the necessary documents such as the Summons, Particulars of Claim, Settlement Agreement, Family Advocate Affidavit, Notice of Set Down and Statistics Form. A team of experts then checks whether the documents were drafted correctly and release them to the user. The document generation process takes 24-hours and the divorce itself, depending which court you file in takes between 3 – 8 weeks.

How many divorces have you handled so far?

It is difficult to say, more than 400.

What are the reasons why people divorce in South Africa?

There are so many reasons, but the most frequent reasons are infidelity, physical, emotional or verbal abuse, money, in-law problems, life transitions, addictions, childhood baggage, different life agendas, life overload, mid life crisis and controlling behaviour.

Are you not concerned about the high divorce rate in South Africa?

Yes, most definitely. A healthy society is built on a solid marital foundation and it is the reason why I urge my client’s always to reconcile if the slightest possibility exist to make things work. If that is not possible, then my roll becomes clinical and the interests of my client and the minor children come first.

Are people generally up to scratch with their rights in a divorce?

Yes and No. The internet and media have played a significant role in educating people on all aspects of life, so in many instances you will find that a party in a divorce matter will know what he/she will be entitled to claim, but in other instances people seem to lack that knowledge, especially women.

Don’t you get subjectively involved in your clients lives?

In order to be successful you have to look at a case clinically. Like a doctor operating on a patient. You have to distance yourself from the emotional aspects. But yes, there are times that you are touched by the hurt of the parties involved, especially when there are children involved. So to answer your question, I am human after all.

Don’t you think people give up to easy in their marriage?

It is difficult to say. It depends on the facts of each case. In a matter concerning adultery, it is very difficult for instance. People can forgive, but forgetting is rather difficult, so unless there is not a huge effort from both spouses to mend the relationship, it will not work and divorce will be inevitable. But then there are many instances where parties can mend their relationships and where opting for divorce would be wrong. Unfortunately life has become like a remote control, if you don’t dig the channel you simply click and change it, so if you don’t like the relationship you click and move on, I don’t think that is a good thing for society as a whole.

What advice can you give to someone going through a divorce?

When there are children involved you have to set the emotions apart and make decisions in the best interests of the children. Divorce is always an emotional rollercoaster and although how difficult it may sound, you have to think with your brain and not with your heart. Relationships are all about control, like using a remote to change the TV channels, one of the parties constantly changes the channels, the kids, the money etc. and that is where many problems surface.

Bertus Preller can be contacted on email at: info@divorceattorney.co.za or at http://www.divorceattorney.co.za

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